Got tagline? Arrrggghh!!

I have a really hard time with the vast majority of taglines I see today and in case it's not obvious from the title of this post, I’m pretty passionate about the subject.

So many companies approach taglines without thinking. Or at least it seems they don’t think. Because if they did actually stop for a second and analyze their own taglines, they would see just how insipid, inappropriate, or indistinctive they truly are.

That last adjective is very important: indistinctive. A tagline, if nothing else, should leave an audience with a lasting impression that separates you from the competition. And it should epitomize, in a few choice words, exactly what you’re all about.

Why do so many advertisers fail at this? Reason number one is just plain laziness. Most advertisers think they can stick any ol’ statement at the end of the ad and people will pay attention. They will believe. Or if the tagline just repeats what’s already been said then that’s a good thing because people should be hit over the head with the message. I can spot these taglines from a thousand miles away, and I’m certain most people can. It doesn’t reinforce. It subtracts.

The second reason so many taglines fall horribly short (that’s a nice way of saying “suck”) is because the advertiser fails to understand their own Unique Selling Proposition...the one thing that distinguishes them from everyone else. And if you can’t define it for yourself, you will never be able to define it for your audience.

Never.

The third reason most taglines make me roll my eyes – and when I taught copywriting I always told my students this – is that a tagline isn’t even required all the time. Just because there’s a logo at the bottom of the ad doesn’t mean you need to stick a pithy statement underneath it. Wow; no tagline. What a concept.

So if you’re ever charged with coming up with a tagline, or approving one, I have a few words of advice.

Stop asking me questions.
Microsoft first did this years ago with “Where do you want to go today?” and it was pretty cool at the time. But then everyone jumped on the question bandwagon:

Have you driven a Ford lately?
Got milk?
What’s in your wallet? (Capital One)
Is it in you?  (Gatorade)
Are you in good hands?  (Allstate)
Do you Yahoo?
Can you hear me now? (Verizon)
How do you solve a problem like Maria? (A bunch of nuns)

Okay, that last one is a song. But there are lots more examples. So stop already. It’s not provocative anymore. It’s just annoying.

Pay attention to your competition.
Church’s Chicken. Gotta love it.
McDonald’s. I’m lovin’ it.
Personally, I really hate it.

Make up your mind.
Multiple taglines are a bad idea. The worse offender is Verizon, who has three. Presumably for good luck.
1. Can you hear me now? Good.
2. We never stop working for you.
3. It’s the network.

Volkswagen has two.
1. On the road of life, there are passengers and drivers.
2. Drivers wanted.

Don’t make verbs out of nouns.
The new way to office. (Kinko’s)
Do you Yahoo?

Vagueness is ungood.
If it doesn’t say Jiffy Lube, it just isn’t Jiffy Lube.
This is the stupidest tagline in the history of stupid taglines. But at least it’s true. It’s not like you can argue with it.

By now you’re probably wondering if I ever see a tagline I actually like. The answer is yes. And when I do, I practically dance a jig. Here are a few of my faves.

Wells Fargo. The next stage.
Great use of brand equity for a campaign that actually says something. There is a message here, and it’s grounded in who Wells Fargo is.

Every kiss begins with Kay.  (Kay Jewelers)
The spots themselves are a bit cliché. But a kiss naturally flows from a gift of jewelry. This one’s a great marriage of a brand name with the product benefits, and better yet, the emotion behind the product. Plus, the double meaning of the line makes it just plain smart.

Southwest Airlines. You are now free to move about the country.
On TV, this tagline is delivered with the distinctive “ding” and the tinny voice of the Captain speaks it. The line features a relevant twist. It’s organic – it comes from who the advertiser is and what they do.

Get the door. It’s Domino’s.
Pure, simple experience-driven tagline undeniably tied to the product experience.

Digitec Medical. Keeping mammography in focus.
This is one Groove recently created for the only after-market medical equipment company focused exclusively on mammography. This focus gives them a distinct advantage no competitor has. So not only is it true, but the double meaning of “focus” (a core competency, and the quality of the mammogram films themselves) strengthens this tagline even more.

So think about your tagline. Make it work for you. Make sure it isn’t already working for someone else. Make it relevant to who you are and what you do. Or else you may as well just slap “Quality and value in a name you can trust” under your logo and be done with it.